About the WebMiscarrier 
About the WebMiscarrier
Since you haven't clicked your browser's "Back" button yet, I'm going to assume
that the #1 item on your "To Do" list is to learn all about me, though a more
likely explanation is that your browser has hung again (for a more stable browser, try this).
You don't want to view more pictures of me, as that may damage your computer's RAM, crack your monitor, and rot your teeth. As an alternative, just close your eyes for a moment and recall your last visit to the zoo. If you haven't visited a zoo recently, here's one. If you're really in the mood for a fright, though, click here to see more pictures of me. But don't say I didn't warn you. And I'm not paying for your cracked monitor or other damage.
I was born on March 23, 1965, 10:44 PM, in Eugene, Oregon. I live in Seattle ("Ah, what a nice rain today; what sort of rain are we having tomorrow?"). My last name rhymes with "govern" -- LUV-ern, not La-VERN, LOW-vern, or LUV-wren.
I bought a house here in '93. It has 5 bedrooms, some of which are usually populated with rent-paying roommates. I highly recommend renting out rooms, as it usually means having nice folks each pay you hundreds of dollars every month to use parts of your house that you wouldn't have used anyway. Who can complain? Except for the cheese slicers -- why do tenants always steal the dang cheese slicer when they move out? But since they often leave behind their broken-handled pots, I figure it's a wash.
Still reading? Here's a few links that may make the experience a bit more endurable:
I work at a large software vendor you may have heard of, as a technical support engineer for Visual Basic, one of our programming languages. Before that, I supported Excel, our spreadsheet program (and one of my favorite things since version 3), for over 3 years. And before that, I supported DOS and Windows 3.1 for about 6 months, as a temp. After a couple more years of supporting VB, I'd like to move on to C++. Or perhaps Barney. To tell the truth, I'm waiting for a position to open up in Notepad support.
My first computer was a 1983 Kaypro II running CP/M 2.2. Sure wish I'd kept it!
Before software support, I worked in restaurants for about 7 years as a waiter and manager (mostly the former, which pays better for less work). I started at a zoo called The Windjammer (now closed), then moved on to a morgue called Ivar's Captain's Table (also closed). I did some time at (imagery fails me) Casa Lupita (closed). Finally, I landed at a comparatively high quality place called Duke's Yacht Club (later changed to Big Duke's on Lake Union, then closed), where I stayed for about 3 1/2 years. Duke's award-winning clam chowder was excellent, and for breakfast we served the best scones in the known universe. Duke's was where I became really interested in computers, streamlining our phenomenally inefficient bookkeeping system and automating it with Excel macros (the old XLM kind). Enjoying that much more than other restaurant work, and noting that I'd hit the very low ceiling in technical careers at Duke's, I left the restaurant world on 11/24/93 to try my luck with temp agencies. It may have been the best decision I ever made. I'll always remember walking out the last day; I'd stayed all night tying up loose ends, and dawn had broken. I had no idea where my next dollar was coming from, but I felt an almost mystical serenity and confidence. The support job started that February 4th.
Though it was certainly good for me in certain ways, I don't miss restaurant work at all; not even an eensy-weensy, teeny-tiny, itty-bitty little bit. Duke's was always changing direction every few months, never staying with any strategy or theme long enough for it to work. If Duke's owner was running Microsoft, there would never have been a Windows 2.0, or an Internet Explorer 2.0. But there would have been a Bob-like scenario every few months, except that the good parts (such as Bob's social interface) would not be used for other things (such as Office). I guess we'd all be using OS/2 today, or Macs, or maybe Linux. Duke might keep Microsoft in business, but the stock would be selling at a penny even after several reverse stock splits. If there is a bright note, it is that there would never have been an Anti-Trust lawsuit.
Before restaurants, I worked in bookstores. I was at Waldenbooks in Northgate Mall in Seattle for about a year, then, wanting something a bit meatier, I went to Tower Books in Bellevue (near Seattle) for a bit less than a year. I started a week after they opened. I had hoped to get into a used bookstore, but those jobs are scarce.
At Tower, I wanted to learn all the different aspects of the business, but the managers guarded their respective responsibilities like pit bulls. A turning point for me was when the manager in charge of special orders would not even show me the rudiments of how it was done. I decided to create a mail-order bookstore -- this was long before the web; around '88 -- specializing in humor books. I called it "Giggle Books".
I began researching and preparing in various ways, and soon I had a catalog and advertisements in inexpensive venues. Orders began trickling in. But Giggle Books was turning into an expensive hobby; there were expenses everywhere I turned and profits were slim. The bookstore wages just weren't enough, so I took a job as a waiter, which paid much better.
At its height, I was getting up to 10 or so orders per day, perhaps not all that bad for an upstart after-hours hobby. It was especially busy around Christmas time, when the restaurant was also very busy and needed us to work there more than usual. There were weeks when I seemed to do nothing but work and get behind on sleep.
I enjoyed Giggle Books immensely. It was easily the most fulfilling thing I have ever done. I stocked many books you would never find in any bookstore (in addition to more common books), and many customers were delighted to find them. But in '91 I became a restaurant manager, and no longer had much time to devote to Giggle Books. In addition, the mail-order business was getting more expensive around then, and there was an industry shake-out of many smaller players. While Giggle Books faded away, I spent much of my time creating and tinkering with the Excel macros mentioned above, and my thoughts were turning towards pursuing a career in that area.
I'd like to recreate Giggle Books, or something like it, as a web store, but it may be a while. It's hard to imagine seriously competing with Amazon.com, no matter how specialized my store, but it would be fun trying. And anyway, if it was just a hobby, it wouldn't matter how financially successful it was or wasn't. Yeah, I know about Amazon.com's Associate program.
Perhaps it would make more sense to try publishing humorous books, on a very small scale. I suppose I'd enjoy that even more.
Well, I guess that's about it as far as work stuff.
I attended Seattle Pacific University from '83 - '87, majoring in business. But I left disillusioned that neither what I was learning nor the degree itself was relevant to a career in bookstores, which was what I wanted at the time. Interviewers today are usually startled that I don't have a degree, and there are few, if any, other engineers where I work who don't have degrees (most have degrees in Computer Science, which wasn't even my major). But I can't think of a specific instance where the lack of a degree has appeared to hold me back. If anything, it motivates me to make sure my resume has real substance.
I organized dances at SPU. Dancing was against the rules (yes, really), so I couldn't call them dances, they were instead traditionally called "functions". I called my organization, such as it was, "Function Club". Advertising dances and "functions" was not allowed, and they could not be in any way formally associated with SPU. Many functions organized by others were advertised mainly by word of mouth, but I had some success with giving people free admission in exchange for passing out fliers. I was called into the administrator's office and interrogated about it once, but fortunately they didn't do anything.
One of the first things I learned doing Function Club was that my -- or any -- unusual taste in music was not appreciated. The masses must have their pabulum! Well, at SPU, anyway. I soon learned to mostly just go with top-40 hits, but whenever I wasn't sure about a song, I asked a certain excruciatingly mainstream guy, who was fortunately eager to dispense advice liberally on any topic. But I did have some success slipping in occasional songs that had never been hits. In particular, they really liked -- now remember, this was in the mid-80's -- Hold Back the Rain by Duran Duran.
Before SPU, I graduated from Eisenhower High School in Yakima, WA (an agrarian town in Eastern Washington, population now about 60,000) in '83. Journey and Def Leppard were all the rage at "Ike" that year. Though I don't care for most hard rock, I still think Def Leppard's Pyromania, popular that year, is a great album. Punk and new wave were old news by then, but they hardly registered in Yakima until some years later; it was when I moved to Seattle that year that I first encountered them anywhere other than in print.
Before that, I was at West Side Christian School in Yakima from 8th - 10th grades, '78 - '80. But I'm no longer a Christian. I left Christianity at age 21, in '85 or '86.
Before West Side, I was at various schools in Portland, Oregon, Ft. Lewis, Washington, Manhattan, Kansas (not Manhattan, NY), and Ft. Campbell, Kentucky, usually only 1 or 2 years in any one place, as an army brat.
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Update 9/02: I had a lot more time on my hands when I wrote all the above a few years ago, before I met my wife. I doubt if I'll ever get around to adding anything to this. Getting married will do that to you. Barbra and I married on 4/27/02.
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